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大正时代，出身贵族的松枝侯爵家嗣子松枝清显（妻夫木聪饰演），对青梅竹马的绫仓伯爵家的掌上明珠聪子（竹内结子饰演）情有独钟，但清显一直没有勇气向她表白，反而笨拙地示爱或者伤害，甚至因为误会中断联系。然而由于贵族彼此间的复杂考虑，聪子和治典殿下订了家族婚事，清显这才发现他对聪子的爱无法自拔，通过多方设法，使两人得以私下偷会，但恰恰这样的行为反让这对情侣都陷入绝望的苦恋而无法自拔，已是他人未婚妻的聪子怀孕后，真相无法掩藏，他们走向了爱情的尽头。

Once upon a time, the birds and the beasts fought each other in a war. It was a terrible conflict, and the clever bats would side with the birds when the birds were looking victorious, and then they would become allies of the beasts when that side was winning battles. At last the war came to an end, the two parties reached an amicable settlement, and a great party of friendship was held. But when it came to the turn of the bats to perform in the program, their fence-straddling tactics were exposed, and everyone refused to associate with them. Since that time, the bats have been too ashamed to show their faces during the day, coming out only at night to flit silently around.

抗战期间的四川乡村，国民党反动派借抗日之名，以前线兵源不足为幌子，大肆在乡村抓丁，从中捞取好处，搞的民不聊生。师管区卢队长（张逸生 饰）向王保长（陈戈 饰）索要壮丁，王即向地主李老栓（吴雪 饰）索要壮丁捐。地主李老栓层层盘剥手下的佃户，逼死姜国富（邵华 饰）并抓走他儿子当替身。过了段时间，李老栓在国民党当团副的儿子耀武扬威地回到家乡，李老栓不知就里，指望儿子能压一压卢队长和王保长的威风，老婆和儿媳也也吹起了枕边风。而卢队长和王保长又怎甘心失去这买卖壮丁所带来的好处，设计陷害李老栓不成，干脆联合李团副加倍抓壮丁，妄想钱来的更多更快......

公元前227年，卫国军队在凤凰山遭遇梁军伏击，血战之后惟有受重伤的卫国大将军（王力宏 饰）和装死的梁国士兵（成龙 饰）二人存活。将军有着统一诸国的宏图壮志，而小兵只想过自己的太平日子。小兵活捉大将，企图带着大将回到梁国，换良田五亩从此过上永无兵役的幸福生活。从凤凰山到梁国的路上，前有无数未知风险，后有卫国神秘小队追踪，小兵靠着美好信念的支撑以及自己的小聪明一次次化解危机，然而，在到达梁国之时小兵却出人意料的放大将返回卫国。小兵在江畔目送大将驾小舟渐渐远去，可是他并不知道在身后梁国的土地上，发生了一场天翻地覆的变化……