In 1672, two witches (Jennifer and her father Daniel) were burned by puritan Jonathan Wooley. In revenge, Jennifer cursed all future generations of the Wooley family, that the sons will always marry the wrong woman and be miserable. In the 20th century, a bolt of lightning frees Jennifer and her father from the tree that had kept their souls imprisoned. Jennifer assumes corporeal form and decides to make up-and-coming politician Wallace Wooley, then unhappily engaged, even more miserable by getting him to fall in love with her before his wedding. Wallace is a straight arrow, though, and Jennifer has to resort to a love potion. As we all know, love potions tend to backfire, with comedic results.

大理国皇叔段正淳少时欠下多笔风流债。他与秦红棉偷情时被对方丈夫黄袍人撞破，段正淳仰仗精纯一阳指功夫反将黄袍人双腿打断。未婚妻舒白凤赶到，带走段正淳，临行不忘羞辱秦红棉。时光荏苒，段、舒之子段誉（李修贤 饰）已长大成人，段誉违背家训无心向武，终于不堪父母唠叨凭满脑的圣贤书私闯江湖。段誉于路结识玩蛇姑娘钟灵（林珍奇 饰），两人误闯毒蛾派领地被陷，幸有秦红棉之女木婉清（恬妮 饰）搭救。另一方面，黄袍人潜心修炼十余年后携师弟岳苍龙向段家复仇，段誉虽饮得异蛇之血功力大增，仍失手不敌黄、岳二人。为救段誉，正淳与正明赶赴万劫谷与黄袍人决战……本片根据金庸同名小说改编。

诸国纷争群雄争霸的两千多年前，赵国为一举攻下势均力敌的燕国，决定先拿夹在赵燕之间的梁国开刀，于是妇孺平民加起只有四千余人的梁城被赵国十万大军包围。危难之时，梁王（王志文）向以守城著称的墨家请求一支可以抵抗赵军的守军，却等来其貌不扬孤身应战主张“兼爱非攻”的墨者革离（刘德 华）。革离出奇制胜，令赵军无功而返，后为应付赵军随时而来的庞大攻击，又亲自练兵制造无数特别兵器，梁城上下对其无不折服，更得到逸悦将军（范冰冰）的爱慕，然而，杀气也在此时降临他的四周。

一群匪徒在谋银行盗窃时出现出错后，一名绝望的罪犯、他失控的兄弟和他们的前海军陆战队成员必须逃离新奥尔良和追捕他们的坚定的FBI特工。