屈小乔（郑秀文 饰）是一名杂志记者，每次遇男友分手，都要拿回自己的床褥。杂志总编安排她跟进警方代言人高志强（古天乐饰）性无能的消息。其实志强在一次追踪犯人的时候，产生了阴影因此不举。小乔多次试探仍无进展却爱上了志强，得知志强的过去后，小乔认为他们的爱情不一定需要性来维持。但小乔却找到自己的前男友Raymond( 刘青云 饰)解决自己的生理需要。Raymond在法院邂逅只得18岁的阿塔（蔡卓妍饰），因Raymond认为阿塔只是个小女孩，故也不能从小女友身上得到需要。 高志强性无能的事被揭发，志强认为是小乔告诉了自己的老板，只好分手。二人复合后，高志强重遇了当年令他产生阴影的匪徒，一枪声响，阴影尽消。

Miyako is a frustrated insurance saleswoman stuck in a major dry spell. She tries every trick in the book, including aggressive flirting, which gets her plenty of gropers but no buyers. One day while venturing down a narrow stairwell, she injures her ankle and happens upon Mitsuru who works for some mysterious foreign company. Decked out in high goth style -- complete with long inky black hair and mascaraed eyes -- Mitsuru cuts quite an odd figure, yet his seductive though menacing ways make him difficult for Miyako to resist. Escorting her to his office to treat her ankle, Miyako notices that his all-female staff seem more glassy-eyed and soul-deadened than the average office workers. In fact, they seem almost like zombies. Later, weird things start happening. Mitsuko finds vomit on her doorstep, she seems to be tailed by a shadowy woman in a red dress, and most strikingly, she finds herself utterly powerless against Mitsuru's advances. Soon she is offered a job at Mitsuru's office among the undead and the damned. Does Miyako's potential new place of employment at least offer stock options in exchange for her soul?

五代十國是一個神秘、紛爭、奇人奇事不斷的年代。瘋狂的周世宗自以為天下第一，但是病總是不能根治。皇后、宰相和其他臣子尋訪天下第一名醫張伯謹，其人醫病不按牌理出牌，他要求天下第一名畫的華陀再世圖為酬，結果天下第一畫卻想尋得天下第一美女以摹擬其相貌完成壁畫。第一美女卻要天下第一美玉....

故事发生在上世纪三十年代的老上海。辖区发生一起綁架案，探长钟朗（钟汉良 饰）从智障小孩阿定的只言片语中断定，作案人是两年前出现过的掘墓人，由于当时探员宁二昆（赵毅 饰）的疏忽，曾造成廖家两兄弟双双死亡的惨剧。为获取更多线索，钟朗央宁二昆找廖老爷给儿子开棺验尸，果然从中掌握了新的证据，正在这时，法医于胜男（齐芳 饰）和探员韩非（释小龙 饰）遭掘墓人绑架。通过梳理分析，屠宰场老板的养子朱国梁（许贺 饰）进入了钟朗的视线，朱因家父向廖家举债未果自杀，性格偏执的朱国梁干起了报复有钱人的勾当。钟宁二人连手营救于胜男和韩非，结果宁二昆和朱国梁在枪战中双双陨命。从此，掘墓人销声匿迹，不料，在新娘刘秀珠（刘子菲 饰）的婚礼上，怪事又出现了......