八文钱保镖

Once upon a time, the birds and the beasts fought each other in a war. It was a terrible conflict, and the clever bats would side with the birds when the birds were looking victorious, and then they would become allies of the beasts when that side was winning battles. At last the war came to an end, the two parties reached an amicable settlement, and a great party of friendship was held. But when it came to the turn of the bats to perform in the program, their fence-straddling tactics were exposed, and everyone refused to associate with them. Since that time, the bats have been too ashamed to show their faces during the day, coming out only at night to flit silently around.

拾粪老汉在田里捡到一条很漂亮的丝腰带，四顾见无人认领，便拴在了自己腰上。一照镜子，旧棉袄真刺眼，于是他从存钱罐里倒出钱币，上街买了一件顶好的缎面团花锦袍。酒馆店小二见他身穿锦袍腰系丝带，当他是有钱人赶忙上前招呼，不料一看他不相称的裤子和鞋子，立刻讥嘲起来。老汉受不了店小二的羞辱，回到家二话不说砸碎存钱罐，又去买了相配的裤子和靴子，这下，包括店小二在内的路人看他的目光均是艳羡，老汉一时得意洋洋。可是拾粪老汉这样一幅打扮，可怎么再拾粪哟！

Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dad's vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more.

董夫人（卢燕 饰）是村中有名的寡妇，同时亦是医者和私塾老师，长久以来，董夫人以其高洁的品性誉满全村，街坊邻里都十分敬重这位贞洁坚强的女性。某日，村里来了官兵，杨尉官（乔宏 饰）是其中的首领，他暂时寄宿在董夫人的家中。随着时间的推移，董夫人和杨尉官之间渐渐产生了真挚的感情，然而，令两人没有想到的是，董夫人的女儿维玲（周萱 饰）竟然也喜欢上了杨尉官，与此同时，村民们替董夫人向皇帝申请了贞节牌坊，在舆论和亲情的压力之下，董夫人将自己对杨尉官的感情深深埋藏在心底。最终，维玲和杨尉官成亲了，而董夫人守着她的贞洁牌坊，悲凉异常。