肥仔（曾志伟 饰）是香港专门负责销毁旧钞的公司的一名普通员工，一日他发现机器在销毁旧钞时突然当机了一下，随即恢复运转。就是这一刹那，有三千万本该已经销毁的旧钞幸存了下来。发现了这个天大的秘密的肥仔欣喜若狂，决定联合一般狐朋狗友将这横财三千万据为己有。正当他们与光头秦（麦嘉 饰）相讨大计时，他们的计划被一名小修女（林青霞 饰）无意中听到了。小修女怀着拯救众生的梦想，决心阻止他们的计划，挽救他们。于是，一轮轮精彩搞笑的斗智行动开始了。

清江一郎（三船敏郎 饰）是一名青年画家，某日，在写生的途中，一郎偶然遇见了名为西条美也子（李香兰 饰）的著名歌星，一郎帮了美也子一个忙，两人共乘一辆摩托车，结伴而行。令两人没有想到的是，这一幕竟然被一个八卦记者拍摄了下来，并且对此大做文章，内容粗鄙下流，完全是空穴来风。不实的新闻报道令一郎和美也子名誉受损，愤怒的两人决定将小报记者告上法庭。之后，一位名不见经传的小律师找到了一郎，声称自己愿意免费为他们辩护。律师的女儿患有肺结核病，急需钱来治病，无奈之中，律师接受了被告方的贿赂，在法庭上倒打一耙，一郎和美也子瞬间陷入了不利的地位之中。

Aspiring to be admitted to a good university and to become a lawyer, Tasiro Yuusuke, a tenth-grader from Kyushu, enrols in a prestigious high school in Tokyo. Plans are made for him to live in his uncle's house, part of which is rented out while his uncle is abroad on business. A realtor's mistakes leaves Tasiro sharing the house with Kei Yamaba, the most beautiful girl in the school, who is also his classmate. There is the risk that their unexpected 'co-habitation' will be discovered by the school authorities. While he grows increasingly attracted to her, he is often irritated by her innocent and nonchalant attitude towards their predicament. They each develop other romantic attachments, but end up turning to each other.

纵横江湖二十年的黑帮大佬任因久（梁家辉 饰）树敌无数，因此屡遭他人暗算，并得知有人要在24小时内取他性命。任因久即刻以“江湖告急”的名义，传令召开江湖大会，势必找出谁要害他。